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STRATEGIES FOR SPECIFIC BEHAVIOR CHALLENGES
Aggression
When dealing with aggressive behaviors in children with disabilities, the focus should be on safety, understanding, and teaching. First, make sure everyone—including your child—is safe by calmly removing triggers or stepping back if needed. Aggression often happens because a child feels scared, frustrated, or unable to express their needs. Once the situation is calm, try to understand what caused the behavior—was your child tired, overstimulated, or trying to communicate something? Use this insight to teach safer ways to express feelings, like using words, gestures, or calming strategies. Stay consistent with routines and praise positive behaviors to reinforce progress. The goal isn’t punishment but helping your child learn self-control and better ways to handle strong emotions.
Defiance/Non-Compliance
When dealing with defiant or non-compliant behaviors in children with disabilities, the focus should be on understanding what’s behind the resistance rather than viewing it as simple disobedience. Often, defiance is a way for a child to express frustration, confusion, or a need for control in situations that feel overwhelming. The key is to stay calm, use clear and consistent expectations, and offer choices whenever possible to give the child a sense of independence. Building trust and a positive relationship helps reduce power struggles, as children are more likely to cooperate when they feel respected and understood. The goal is to guide and teach, not to battle for control—helping your child learn responsibility and problem-solving skills over time.
Download Helping Your Child With Defiant/Non-Compliant Behaviors
Disruptive
When dealing with disruptive behaviors in children with disabilities, it’s important to focus on understanding why the behavior is happening rather than just trying to stop it. Every behavior communicates something—a need for attention, frustration, sensory overload, or a way to cope with big emotions. By looking for the reason behind the behavior, parents can better support their child and teach more positive ways to express themselves. Keeping routines consistent, using clear expectations, and staying calm can help your child feel safe and understood. Most importantly, focus on connection and encouragement—children are more likely to learn and grow when they feel supported and loved, even in tough moments.
Distractibility/Inattention
When dealing with distractible or inattentive behaviors in children with disabilities, the focus should be on creating structure, minimizing distractions, and supporting attention in positive ways. These behaviors often happen because the child’s brain struggles to filter out extra sights, sounds, or thoughts. Parents can help by setting up a calm, organized environment with clear routines and short, simple directions. Breaking tasks into smaller steps and using visual schedules or timers can make it easier for the child to stay focused. Be patient and celebrate small moments of success to build confidence and motivation. The goal is not to force focus, but to provide the right supports and tools to help your child pay attention and succeed at their own pace.
Download Helping Your Child With DistractibilityInattention Behaviors
Impulsive Behaviors
When dealing with impulsive behaviors in children with disabilities, the focus should be on teaching self-control and providing structure rather than punishment. Impulsive behaviors often happen because the child struggles to pause and think before acting, especially when they’re excited, upset, or overwhelmed. Parents can help by creating consistent routines, giving clear and simple instructions, and using visual reminders or cues to guide behavior. Practice patience and use positive reinforcement when your child shows self-control, even in small ways. Over time, modeling calm behavior and teaching coping skills—like taking deep breaths or counting to ten—can help your child learn to slow down and make better choices. The goal is to build awareness and self-regulation through support, not criticism.
Meltdowns
When dealing with meltdown behaviors in children with disabilities, the focus should be on helping the child feel safe and calm, not on discipline or correction in the moment. A meltdown is often a sign that the child is overwhelmed—by noise, frustration, sensory input, or emotions they can’t manage. During a meltdown, the child’s brain is in survival mode, so reasoning or consequences won’t work. The best approach is to create a calm, safe space, use a gentle voice, and give the child time to regain control. Once the meltdown has passed, you can talk about what happened and teach coping skills, like deep breathing or asking for a break. The goal is to support your child through the storm first, and then help them learn how to handle those feelings in healthier ways next time.
Repetitive/Self-Stemming
When dealing with repetitive or self-stimming behaviors in children with disabilities, the focus should be on understanding the purpose of the behavior rather than trying to stop it completely. These behaviors often help children manage emotions, reduce stress, or cope with sensory overload. If the behavior isn’t harmful, it’s usually best to allow it in safe settings, as it can help your child feel calm and in control. However, if the behavior becomes disruptive or unsafe, gently redirect your child to another activity that meets the same need—like squeezing a stress ball, jumping on a trampoline, or doing deep-pressure squeezes. The goal is to support your child’s self-regulation and comfort while teaching them healthy, acceptable ways to meet their sensory or emotional needs.
Self-Injurious
When working with children who engage in self-injurious behaviors (SIB), the focus should be on safety, understanding, and supportive skill-building. This means first protecting the child from harm while staying calm and consistent, then identifying the reasons behind the behavior—whether it’s communication, sensory needs, emotional distress, or avoidance. Adults can support the child by teaching safer ways to express needs, regulate emotions, and cope with stress, while creating predictable routines and a low-stress environment. Reinforcing positive, safe behaviors helps the child develop confidence and independence, reducing reliance on self-injury over time.
Download Helping Your Child Through Self-Injurious Behaviors
Temper Tantrums
When dealing with temper tantrum behaviors in children with disabilities, the focus should be on staying calm and consistent while helping the child learn more appropriate ways to express their feelings. Tantrums usually happen when a child feels frustrated, tired, or unable to communicate their needs. It’s important to stay patient, set clear limits, and avoid giving in to the behavior, so the child learns that tantrums don’t lead to rewards. Instead, guide them toward expressing emotions with words, gestures, or calming strategies. After the tantrum, talk about what happened in simple, supportive language and praise any effort to calm down or communicate appropriately. The goal is to teach emotional regulation over time, not to punish the behavior in the moment.
Withdrawn/Passive
Withdrawn or passive behaviors are when a child seems very quiet, shy, or prefers to be alone most of the time. They might avoid eye contact, not join group activities, or seem uninterested in playing or talking with others. It’s important to respond with patience, understanding, and gentle encouragement. Spend one-on-one time doing activities your child enjoys to build trust, and validate their feelings by letting them know it’s okay to feel quiet or hesitant. Encourage communication through open-ended questions, alternative forms of expression like drawing or writing, and by reflecting what they share to show understanding. Promote gradual participation by modeling social interactions, offering choices, and starting with small, low-pressure steps. Create a safe and predictable environment with structured routines, quiet spaces, and limited overstimulation to help your child feel secure. Teach coping and social skills through role-playing and calming strategies, and celebrate even small efforts to engage or communicate. Finally, collaborate with teachers, counselors, or therapists to share strategies and maintain consistency between home and school. With patience and support, children often become more confident and willing to participate over time.
Download Helping Your Child With Withdrawn/Passive Behaviors
In Summary
Behaviors isn’t always willful disobedience — it’s often a sign of unmet needs or skill deficits. The goal is not just to stop the behavior, but to understand the “why” and teach new, more appropriate ways for students to communicate and cope.