SPECIAL ED SPEAKS

Special education and behaviors often go hand in hand. Let’s take a look at them one by one. 

Aggression refers to behaviors that are meant to hurt, scare, or push others away—like hitting, biting, yelling, or using hurtful words. For many children, these actions are not about being “bad.” They are a way of showing frustration, fear, or other strong feelings when they don’t yet have the words or skills to express them. When aggression happens, it’s important to look for the reason behind it. Your child might be overwhelmed, tired, or trying to communicate a need. By understanding the cause and teaching new ways to cope—like using words, taking breaks, or asking for help—you can help your child learn to express feelings in safer, more positive ways.

Defiant behaviors, also known as non-compliant, occur when a child refuses to follow directions, breaks rules, or argues with adults. Noncompliant or defiant behaviors can appear in many ways. A child may refuse to start or complete a task, say “no,” or ignore requests from their parents, teachers, staff, or other adults. Some may argue, talk back, or use disrespectful language when frustrated or feeling misunderstood. In other cases, a child might run away from an activity. Others may destroy materials or purposely do the opposite of what’s asked as a way to express frustration, avoid difficult tasks, or gain a sense of control. 

Disruptive behaviors are actions that interfere with teaching and learning and often require redirection or intervention. A child may talk out of turn, interrupt lessons, or refuse to follow directions, which can make it difficult for others to focus and participate. Some children may wander around the room, make noises, or distract their peers, disrupting the flow of instruction. These behaviors can signal that the child needs additional support, structure, or engagement to stay focused and involved in the learning process.

Distracted or inattentive behaviors interfere with a child’s focus and productivity, though they are not usually meant to be disruptive. A child may daydream, struggle to start or complete assignments, or frequently lose materials. Others may have difficulty sustaining attention during lessons or independent work. These behaviors often indicate challenges with attention, organization, or engagement and may require additional support, structure, or strategies to help the child stay focused and successful in the classroom.

Impulsive behaviors are actions that happen quickly, without thinking about the consequences. They occur when a child reacts to immediate feelings or desires instead of pausing to consider what might happen next. These behaviors are often connected to challenges with self-control, attention, or emotional regulation. A child who acts impulsively might blurt out answers, interrupt others, touch or grab things without asking, have trouble waiting their turn, or say hurtful things in the moment that they later regret. They may also take risks or make unsafe choices, such as running into the street or climbing too high. Impulsive behaviors are common in young children and in those with conditions like ADHD or autism, where self-regulation develops more slowly. The key point to remember is that impulsive behavior is not usually defiance—it’s a sign that a child’s brain is still learning how to pause, think, and make better decisions. With patience, structure, and consistent guidance, children can develop the skills to manage their impulses and respond more thoughtfully.

A meltdown is an intense reaction to feeling overwhelmed—it’s not a choice or a way to get attention. It occurs when a child’s brain and body become overloaded by sensory input, frustration, or strong emotions, causing them to lose control of their behavior. During a meltdown, a child may cry, scream, hit, run away, drop to the floor, cover their ears, hide, or have trouble communicating. Meltdowns are common in children with autism, ADHD, sensory processing challenges, or communication difficulties. They are a natural response to stress, not “bad behavior.” It’s important to remember that a meltdown isn’t something a child can simply stop—it ends only when their body and mind have had time to calm down.

Repetitive behaviors are actions, movements, or routines that a child repeats over and over in a predictable or ritualized way. These behaviors are common in children with developmental differences, including autism spectrum disorder, but they can also occur in typically developing children. Examples include motor movements like hand-flapping, rocking, spinning, or pacing; vocalizations such as repeating words, phrases, or sounds; and routine behaviors like lining up toys, arranging objects in a specific order, or insisting on completing tasks the same way each time. Repetitive behaviors often serve important purposes: they can help a child self-soothe, reduce anxiety, or provide sensory stimulation. While sometimes purely enjoyable or comforting, these behaviors can occasionally interfere with learning or daily activities. Importantly, repetitive behaviors are not “bad”—they are a way for a child to cope with stress, sensory input, or uncertainty, and understanding their purpose helps parents and caregivers respond supportively while setting appropriate boundaries when needed.

Self-injurious behaviors are actions that cause harm to oneself and often signal significant distress or unmet needs. A child may engage in behaviors such as head-banging, hitting or scratching themselves, pulling their hair, or biting their own skin. These actions can be a way to communicate pain, frustration, or sensory overwhelm, especially when a child has limited verbal or emotional expression skills. It is important for parents and caregivers to respond with compassion, identify possible triggers, and provide appropriate supports or interventions to help the child feel safe and develop healthier ways to cope.

Temper tantrums are not the same as meltdowns! A temper tantrum is a child’s emotional reaction to not getting what they want and often stems from frustration (not getting what they want), testing limits, or seeking attention. Temper tantrums are audience driven! Take away the audience, and the behavior is not worth engaging in anymore. During a tantrum, the child typically has some control over their behavior and may cry or yell when told “no,” stomp their feet, throw things, argue, or watch to see how adults respond. Tantrums are a normal part of child development and tend to decrease as children learn healthier ways to express their feelings and manage frustration. The key point to remember is that a tantrum usually ends when the child gets what they want or realizes that their behavior will not change the outcome.

Withdrawn or passive behaviors are when a child seems very quiet, shy, or prefers to be alone most of the time. They might avoid eye contact, not join group activities, or seem uninterested in playing or talking with others. Sometimes, this isn’t because they don’t want to connect—it may be because social situations feel confusing, they’re afraid of making mistakes, or they don’t know how to express themselves.These behaviors can make it harder for children to build friendships, learn social skills, and feel included. Recognizing and gently supporting a child who seems withdrawn helps them feel safe, confident, and connected.

Behaviors isn’t always willful disobedience — it’s often a sign of unmet needs or skill deficits. The goal is not just to stop the behavior, but to understand the “why” and teach new, more appropriate ways for students to communicate and cope.