My first request!!! I have been asked to write on the difference between sympathy (a word that is used and taught too often) and empathy (a word that is not used and taught often enough), and why empathy should be the choice of word to teach in our classrooms.
The word sympathy can be dated back to the eighteenth century, while the word empathy did not enter the English language until 1909. Prior to the arrival of the word empathy into the English language, sympathy was the go-to word for a number of meanings. While the words sympathy and empathy share the same root word “pathos”, that is where their similarities end. While their meanings, spellings, and even pronunciations are similar, these two words should never be confused and/or interchanged. Empathy is not sympathy, and we as educators, are not doing our students any favors when we focus on teaching or encouraging just sympathy. True character development occurs when we can move our student’s past sympathy into the realm of empathy. So, what do these two words actually mean?
Sympathy
Sympathy, is an expression, and, in general, means to share the feelings of another. You feel sorrow or pity for another person’s sadness or misfortune. Sympathy means to just offer thoughts and support without really understanding or experiencing the situation; you do not necessarily have to care, just sympathize. For example, have you ever had a student who expressed sympathy towards another student’s misfortune, but, in the same breath, expressed a dislike for that same student? Or judgement of that same student?
Empathy
Empathy is defined as the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner. That is a mouth full, but, simply put, empathy is when you understand and act on the feelings of another but do not necessarily share them. Empathy requires deeper feelings, an understanding that forges a deeper and more meaningful connection with the other person. Empathy involves connecting, building relationships, listening, and caring for others. As one writer so eloquently put it, empathy is foundational for building bridges between individuals, understanding each other’s complex emotions, gaining a diverse perspective, and leveraging relationships for collaboration and progress. The concept of empathy can be broken down into three categories.
* Cognitive Empathy is the ability to understand how a person feels and what they might be thinking. Cognitive empathy makes us better communicators, because it helps us relay information in a way that best reaches the other person.
* Emotional Empathy (also known as affective empathy) is the ability to share the feelings of another person. Some have described it as “your pain in my heart.” This type of empathy helps you build emotional connections with others.
* Compassionate empathy (also known as empathic concern) goes beyond simply understanding others and sharing their feelings: it actually moves us to take action, to help however we can.
Sympathy vs Empathy In Action
I read an interesting philosophy paper that epitomized what sympathy and empathy look like in action. In the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:27-30), a traveler who was robbed, beaten by thieves, and left for dead lay by the side of a road. First a priest and then a Levite comes by, and both avoid the man. One can imagine they both felt sympathy, but neither were compelled to do anything more. The Samaritan, on the other hand, was moved with compassion, came to him, bound up his wounds, set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And, the next day, the Samaritan paid the innkeeper to take care of him, telling the innkeeper that whatever more is spent will be paid back. The Samaritan demonstrated empathy.
It is not uncommon to find a lack of empathy in our student’s interactions… and our teachers too! After all, empathy is unnatural and difficult to express, a skill that requires learning and practice. Even some teachers struggle with understanding empathy and teaching empathy to their students. That is one of the reasons why sympathy is taught and expressed more often than empathy. Why do I believe empathy is more important than sympathy? The classrooms that we teach in today are more diverse than ever before. Culture, family background, religion, economic standing, and more dictate that we as teachers teach our students to empathize. Empathy builds positive classroom culture, strengthens community, builds character, and prepares students to be leaders. Empathy also translates into a student’s adult life as well. Empathetic adults experience greater success personally and professionally, a better ability to understand others, more success in leadership positions, more satisfying relationships, better at dealing with conflict, and lower levels of stress. Empathy can even be taught to our students with disabilities… even those with severe disabilities. After all, I am not one to judge what they can and cannot understand.
Here are several ways to foster and teach empathy to your students:
- Be cognitive of your own state of empathy.
- Role model empathy.
- Teach what empathy is and why it matters.
- Use literature to teach different perspectives.
- Actively listen to others.
- Create opportunities to practice empathy.
- Set clear ethical expectations.
Empathy is a key to creating responsible and helpful community members at school and elsewhere. To learn more about teaching empathy, click on the links below. Do you know of a program that works, let me know!
Blog Post on Empathy vs Sympathy
Lesson Plans for Developing Empathy