I was working on this blog post when, once again, the news hit me, and I thought this is why we need to change the narrative. I am specifically referring to the woman who called the cops on the 8-year-old girl who was selling bottled water to raise money. My question to the woman who did the calling, “how is that any different from years of kids setting up lemonade stands on the corner to sell lemonade?” Or the kids who ring my door bell (I love their entrepreneurial spirits) to sell homemade cookies or doggie treats to earn money? Or my very own son who raised money mowing neighbor’s lawns and washing their cars? What this woman did is another perfect example of intolerance.

We see examples of intolerance all throughout the news, in our neighborhoods, communities, on our jobs, and more. In working with students with severe disabilities, we encounter intolerance, discrimination and prejudice everywhere. Parents often do not engage in certain activities for that very reason. For my students and I, whether it is on the school playground, in the grocery store, shopping at WalMart, or in the community, it is there. The stares, snide remarks, unwarranted comments, lack of access, etc., reminds me just how far we as people have not come! You see it everywhere, and with the wonder of technology, you see it more and more on TV. One way schools address issues, such as these, is to teach Tolerance. Now, for me personally, I have an issue with teaching tolerance and I will explain to you why.

A noun, there are several definitions for tolerance, but in the education world, tolerance is defined as accepting others who are different in their race, culture, habits, and even beliefs… to tolerate. Tolerance also means the ability or willingness to put up with, or have sympathy for. When you look at the root origin of tolerance, the meaning is to bear, endure, tolerate. That is why synonyms for tolerance include forbearance, long-suffering, and sufferance! Well, I don’t know about you, but I do not want to be tolerated, and I do not want to teach my students to tolerate. Tolerance also connotes a sense of negativity and does not necessarily produce the desired results and outcomes. You see tolerance doesn’t denote any form of action, simply a choice based on feeling. As one student so eloquently put it to me, “I didn’t feel like tolerating her today!” I told this same student, “no, you don’t have to tolerate her, but you will respect her!” Ahhh, respect!

As a noun, respect means a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements; the state of being admired or respected, and due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. But, respect is more then just a noun. Respect is also a verb, an action word. As a verb, respect means to admire someone or something deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements; have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of; avoid harming or interfering with; and agree to recognize and abide by. Synonyms for respect include admiration, appreciation, regard, and favor. Respect demands action. Whether one feels like it or not, action is required. And that action is what I want my students to learn to do. It’s time to change the narrative!